Whose Line is it anyway?

Here's whats on my mind today: over 70 school shootings have occurred since Sandy Hook. Once considered the safe haven for our children to make friends, learn and grow physically, emotional and academically from caring teachers, is now a war zone. Political officials are "baffled". Student and teachers are locked behind bars everyday so to be protected from the predators that are probably already inside with them and that cute little boy you have watched grow from from kindergarden is the predator.

What can we do about it? It is not someone else's problem, it is everyone's problem. You can't say, I don't have school age kids, and I don't know how to solve it. The answers are in front of us, there is so much proven research, yet people are too busy to take that extra minute to make a difference. That extra minute to make a contact with a child, to mentor them or even to be good role models. And more tragic, the parents who are not in tune to notice their child may need some help.

Turning our backs to this epidemic is only going to fester the problem until the US is filled with armed 10 to 21 year old arriving at school thinking all their problems will be solved through revenge. Where do they learn this, it didn't happen 20 years ago, or before there were no gun laws or in other countries.

Schools are melting pots, rules need to be made, understood and enforced. The proactive school is now a reactive battle field. However, if you are blaming the school for your children's problems or for anything other than what they are academically responsible for, we have a problem. If a school has 500 students there are 500 different set of family dynamics and rules in the building. They can only make their own rules and enforce them. Don't go to the school blaming them for their lack of parenting, that is not their job.

consider this:

1. Take the kids away from the computer. One hour a day, if your child is playing computer games more than one hour a day, you are contributing to the problem.
2. Take a good look, are the children around you engaged in their families, conversation, doing their personal best in schools, sit at the dinner table every night and talk to the family, socially involved?
3. All kids are born with an equal advantage to grow and learn, they are not born trouble only with a beautiful innocence. Take the young man in California last month who went on a shooting rampage. He was born into money and power, did that give him an advantage?
4. This is not an economical problem, it is a social problem.
5. There are more feelings and emotions than anger and revenge.

Parenting is teaching:

1. Empathy for others
2. Teaching accountability and respect
3. Teaching that children are not entitled
4. Teaching values, check out the 40 developmental assets on our website. 
5. Value the person, not only the accomplishments one makes. Builds self esteem
6. Allow authenticity, let that kid be themselves
7. Create a parental hierarchy, don't be your kids friend. 
8. Keep your commitments: do what you say you are going to do. 
9. Be the adult, teach respect, show respect. In fact start teaching your kids the simple task of saying please and thank you!!!
10. Don't be that person, the one that says, I should have, could have, would have.....

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