Character Under Attack!

To educate a person in the mind but not in morals is to educate a menace to society. 

Teddy Roosevelt 

One thing that outrages me is people with what I call, diarrhea of the mouth. People whose words fall profusely off the tongue with the quest to make themselves look "good" by destroying someone else's character without any worry or regret of how hurtful they are being to someone or something that is none of their concern.  The proverbial tattletale and gossip falls into this category as well. Nothing disgusts me more. Even when you try to stop them, they just can't and will find someone else to listen if you won’t. Just like the toxic Ebola virus it is just plain deadly.

I just can't figure out if these people have the direct purpose to hurt others or just like to hear themselves talk. Maybe a little bit of both. But whatever their reasoning, they are a disgrace to society.

In middle and high school these were the cliquey girls (or guys) that shunned, ridiculed and tormented other kids. They have a “leader” and all the little minions follow suit. You know like Mean Girls. These girls grow up to be mean women, teach their kids to be the same and the cycle continues leaving us scratching our heads to what just happened?

I don’t know about you but I refuse to allow people to make me their target to feed their narcissistic supply. Stand up and speak your piece, they will move on. Unfortunately they will move on to someone else to torment but at least is will end for you. Hear this though, SAY SOMETHING or they will not go away. The less you say the more power they get.

Bullies are sneaky. They always assume, (which is not necessarily true) an imbalance of power and most important it is repetitive. If someone says or does something once and shows remorse, it is bad character not bully.

It is ridiculous to expect our children to have good character when their role models, adults, teachers, parents, grandparents etc. can't respect other enough to zip it and show others a little bit of respect and compassion. 

In fact if we all just had some mutual and heaven forbid, self-respect, character educations wouldn't be necessary or even an issue, it is a major problem in American society.

Yesterday there must have been some negative force in the air. One person thought they could bypass my boundaries and attack my character and motives. Another tried cunning and manipulative tactic to get what they wanted from me and I had a couple of friends call with similar situations happening to them. I guess some people are having some down time this summer and need something to do or focus on that is not someone else’s business?

Then to top off the day with tragedy, one of the largest mass murder suicide took place in the history of our state, which just happens to be branded the “Safest” state in the union. This was a murder of the wife, three small children and the husband’s suicide. What is society coming to? 

These series of events brings up many questions for me. Life is hard enough, why insert extra pain and drama? Why do people feel the need to attack others? What comes first, bullying or domestic violence? It is like the chicken and the egg, a vicious cycle of the lack of social behavior and support. What are we missing as a society in raising our children to be resilient, sound-minded adults? How do we tell the difference between bad behaviors or a cry for psychological help? How do we “teach” adults to understand that pure happiness is when what you think, say and do becomes the answer to healthy living and the lessons our children need to learn?  Where should character education be taught, in schools, in the home, how do you measure and change this? When do we stand up and say something and when do we walk away?

One of the most important things we can do as adults is to teach and educate our children in positive values and the core character morals like respect, caring, and compassion. Adults need to have and demonstrate moral standards. The signs are there we just don't recognize them for whatever reason. Above all, we need to “walk the walk and talk the talk.” Children will imitate us regardless of how much we teach them otherwise.

Several years ago I made a school visit at the very school one of the murder victims attended. While on break in the lunchroom I was looking at a couple of books on display. After reading a few pages I couldn’t put the book down. I had to come home, order it and read it. I was so impressed and moved I called the author. He was a man whose moral compass was spot on, who walked the walk and restored my faith in society. If only everyone could read Mr. Sommers’ book. Ah, you can! Here is the good part, you can download this book for free: http://www.advancepublishing.com. Character Under Attack by Carl Sommers, a wonderful and insightful man and author. It is only 113 pages; it’s worth the time.

One of my favorite quotes from Carl Sommers, author of Character Under Attack is, “Today, parents must be extremely careful they don’t succumb to the deadly moral standards that are so popularized on TV, in music, children’s magazines, and our present culture of leaving children to be free to develop their own values. Children need guidance; wise are those parents who supervise their children, provide positive materials, and take time to teach them successful virtues.”

I am going to repost an article I wrote for the Phoenix a few years ago on domestic violence, it is a true story. Hope the blog, book and article give you some healthy food for thought. I welcome your opinion.